Let It Simmer.

Freshie year, 2019. My first ever time using Adobe Illustrator and my first ever attempt with digital art. I'd just joined a team in college called iitmtv, that did all things creative media and I would spend everyday playing around with the softwares it passed onto us. Again, with just my Dell track pad and my still good eyesight.

Life was so different back in that small Sarayu room. So many questions; so many fundaes; so many experiences to gain; so many stories to collect; so many goals to achieve; and so far to go to find out who I can be. 5 years later, as I lay on my bed typing this, I realise nothing has really changed. All of these statements remain.

And thank god they remain.

What a shame it would be if I looked back and thought I'd found the answers to everything? If I'd achieved all my goals and found out who I want to be? What then? What next? What's the point? As I write this, I realise I'm not writing it for my reader as much as I'm writing it for my own 5-year-older-self. The impatience to find out all the answers - which sometimes drives me nuts, puts me on the edge, scares me, worries me, tires me, terrifies me - often forgets what life would be without these questions, and worse, how less of a leeway I would have to fuck around and find out if I already had all of my answers ready.

Today's 3 am is making me think that life is less about arriving at those answers and more about the paths and roads and routes and highways we take to arrive at those answers. And it's okay if you never arrive. It's okay if the destination changes every year. It's okay if none of your destinations ever last long enough to lead your efforts to fruition. After all, all that matters is whether you took roads where you learned, where you heard the best tales, lived the best stories, found people who willingly trudged along, however briefly, and where, most importantly, you felt things deeply in your bones that you would've felt nowhere else, in your ultimate one man legend. The legend that will flash in front of your eyes moments before you fade into oblivion one day. Everything else is just a filler.

So go sit with those questions.
And let them simmer.