Regardless, I Will Smile Back At You.

I'll be old some day - all wrinkled up & shrunken down. On my bed, breathing slowly, hearing the birds chirp, & staring at the ceiling. I'll think of you, like I always do.

In every stage of my life, I look back, & see you gawking at me from mummy's lap, waddling away from daddy up to me with a face full of giggles, storming away from reyshu towards me to be taken seriously, running up to me, partly afraid you'll miss the train to making it & partly confident that making it is what you make of it, and finally strolling towards me, with your old wrinkled feet, towards this moment. In every phase I see, one thing remains unchanged.

If you come to me with bleeding wounds, I'll soothe them for you. If your love for someone bites you back, I'll nourish you by loving you more. If someone you trusted teaches you a lesson, I'll make jokes so you can laugh about it & not take it to heart. If you lose someone you love, I'll remember their eyes, their voice, & how they inspired you so you can carry a piece of them in you. If you make a decision that doesn't work out eventually, I will trust & empathise with you for where it came from. If you took calls that made life beautiful for you, I will fall to your feet with gratitude. If life pulls you down, I will reach out for you & pull you up higher than before. If you are on the verge of giving up, I will remind you to keep going for me.

Whatever you do in life, I will stand at the end of the tunnel, waiting to tell you I'm proud of you. But whatever you don't - the things you avoid because you're scared you'll fail, & the things you allow to remain dreams because you don't want to disappoint others...

sigh

...I cannot salvage. Never come to me asking to heal your wounds of regret, for what's your regret is my yearning, what's your regret is my dream, & what's your regret is, simply, my regret.

Be a force of nature. Stay stubborn, strong, & ambitious, but don't forget to be kind, forgiving, & grounded. Life is literally what you do, not what happens to you.

So when you finally reach me, on my bed, staring at my ceiling, thinking about you, I hope I see you come smiling.

Regardless, I will smile back at you.